To The Tribe That Keeps Holding Me Up
Becoming a mother changes every bit of aspect of who you are. No matter how much you go back to the life that you used to have before becoming pregnant...it's different now that you have gone through pregnancy, birth and added mother to your list of roles.
We've all seen how our mothers do it. We all thought it would come to us naturally the moment the baby is born or the moment we get pregnant. Boy, did we get that wrong!
But living in this day and age where every piece of information is within the reach of our fingers (or in some cases, a swipe of a finger), how lucky are we to be able to get all perspectives and aspects in a moments' notice. Of course, that comes at a price. It comes with the price of having to live up to our own expectation. We all thought that we could wing through it all and just learn the ropes while taking on the journey, when all the while...we are battling with our expectations, the externals forces that is our own families (husband, partner, spouse), maternal family (our dad, our mom, our siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents), to our in-laws (dad-in-law, mom-in-law, siblings-in-law), to our own circle of friends.
After giving birth to my firstborn, I was circling in a drain that I didn't want to admit I was in. It didn't help that the thoughts in my head were also fueled by the people around me that pushed me deeper in the drain. They were not doing it on purpose. Don't get me wrong. But yes, they could have been more sensitive to understanding that I just went through a life-changing experience and they can be a little more careful with how they phrase their words.
It was when a very organic idea took place. A weekly playgroup at a local mom and baby place. Thought of by first-time moms who gave birth just weeks to months apart and were looking for an outlet to talk, and for the babies to socialize. Although, really, the socializing was meant for the moms. That was 2013...and I slowly realized that this was what the phrase meant, "It takes a village to raise a child..."
Fast forward to 2020...the group grew in proportions we never thought was even possible. The group branched out to different mini-tribes and networked out to the world. But my tribe has always held me up. To those mundane moments that I get frustrated at my husband to the heart-thumping health scare that my family had to endure, my tribe has always been there. They were one message away and one car ride for them to drop off anything that I may need at a moment's notice.
Our children have grown up together, I've seen them grow with my son and daughter. I've seen them flourish and become the individuals that they are and I am as proud as their moms. When I wasn't present during important events and they were there, I had blow by blow photos and updates sent to me while I was at work. They were more than willing to take in my eldest while I was recuperating from giving birth to my daughter. They took care of my youngest and watched over her while I was trying to gobble up a meal.
It is because of this tribe that I am confident in the mother that I have become; that no one is alone in their journey; that every child is different; that every husband is the same, but also different.
It is because of them holding me up, that I am able to hold myself up...that my journey of motherhood will always be that rollercoaster ride of emotions and experiences. But having them by my side, makes the journey so much more fun and worthwhile.
Thank you for being the second mothers to my children...
Thank you for being my confidants...
Thank you for taking charge when my world was falling apart...
Thank you for your words of encouragement...
Thank you for being on my side...
Thank you for hearing me rant away when I'm in that hole...
Thank you for being my sounding board...
Thank you for not getting tired of holding me up...
Thank you for always fixing my crown without telling me that it's crooked...
As I will always be one of those hands who will keep holding you up as well...
We've all seen how our mothers do it. We all thought it would come to us naturally the moment the baby is born or the moment we get pregnant. Boy, did we get that wrong!
But living in this day and age where every piece of information is within the reach of our fingers (or in some cases, a swipe of a finger), how lucky are we to be able to get all perspectives and aspects in a moments' notice. Of course, that comes at a price. It comes with the price of having to live up to our own expectation. We all thought that we could wing through it all and just learn the ropes while taking on the journey, when all the while...we are battling with our expectations, the externals forces that is our own families (husband, partner, spouse), maternal family (our dad, our mom, our siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents), to our in-laws (dad-in-law, mom-in-law, siblings-in-law), to our own circle of friends.
After giving birth to my firstborn, I was circling in a drain that I didn't want to admit I was in. It didn't help that the thoughts in my head were also fueled by the people around me that pushed me deeper in the drain. They were not doing it on purpose. Don't get me wrong. But yes, they could have been more sensitive to understanding that I just went through a life-changing experience and they can be a little more careful with how they phrase their words.
It was when a very organic idea took place. A weekly playgroup at a local mom and baby place. Thought of by first-time moms who gave birth just weeks to months apart and were looking for an outlet to talk, and for the babies to socialize. Although, really, the socializing was meant for the moms. That was 2013...and I slowly realized that this was what the phrase meant, "It takes a village to raise a child..."
Fast forward to 2020...the group grew in proportions we never thought was even possible. The group branched out to different mini-tribes and networked out to the world. But my tribe has always held me up. To those mundane moments that I get frustrated at my husband to the heart-thumping health scare that my family had to endure, my tribe has always been there. They were one message away and one car ride for them to drop off anything that I may need at a moment's notice.
Our children have grown up together, I've seen them grow with my son and daughter. I've seen them flourish and become the individuals that they are and I am as proud as their moms. When I wasn't present during important events and they were there, I had blow by blow photos and updates sent to me while I was at work. They were more than willing to take in my eldest while I was recuperating from giving birth to my daughter. They took care of my youngest and watched over her while I was trying to gobble up a meal.
It is because of this tribe that I am confident in the mother that I have become; that no one is alone in their journey; that every child is different; that every husband is the same, but also different.
It is because of them holding me up, that I am able to hold myself up...that my journey of motherhood will always be that rollercoaster ride of emotions and experiences. But having them by my side, makes the journey so much more fun and worthwhile.
Thank you for being the second mothers to my children...
Thank you for being my confidants...
Thank you for taking charge when my world was falling apart...
Thank you for your words of encouragement...
Thank you for being on my side...
Thank you for hearing me rant away when I'm in that hole...
Thank you for being my sounding board...
Thank you for not getting tired of holding me up...
Thank you for always fixing my crown without telling me that it's crooked...
As I will always be one of those hands who will keep holding you up as well...
Comments
Post a Comment